2008.

2008. Words can hardly describe what the past year has been.

I have learned more, and grown more than I ever have in such a short period of time.  I have cried more tears, had more sleepless nights, felt more lonely, heartbroken,  and desperate than ever before. I have experienced a deeper level of community, spent more time on my knees, cried out to the Lord, trusted Him in a much deeper way than ever before. I’ve learned of His incredible sovereignty no matter what. He revealed to me how selfish, and prideful I can be, and how often I play the victim, the Lord humbled me. I discovered that for the most part my treasure was not in Heaven but here, and the Lord transformed my heart. I found out, that no one can fully satisfy me, but my Savior, Jesus. I felt more weak, physically, spiritually, and emotionally, and found the sustaining beauty of His strength. I’ve had to learn what true integrity looks like. I’ve found that I can be more disciplined and accomplish more than I think I can. Every plan I’ve made has been thrown out the window, and instead of the chaos I imagined, God has given me overwhelming peace. I have no idea what tomorrow looks like, and I’m almost completely okay with that.  The Father gave me His heart for the nations, and the lost. I had never before been so broken by the idea that there were people living in bondage who had never heard that He’s already freed them. Heaven and hell became realities to me. I’ve experienced deep homesickness for heaven more than ever before. He taught me that anger is never justified. Grace is mandatory. How to love people that are so hard to love. I appreciate my parents in a new profound way.  I went to Africa to feel less called there than ever before, and learn more than I’ve ever learned in 5 1/2 weeks. I gained a heart for muslims and the middle east. Trashed alot of my worldly desires for heavenly ones, by His grace. I have been reminded that He always sees and always knows. I will never be disappointed in what His will is for my life. I have been more challenged to live as Christ, in everything, words, thoughts and actions, making much of my King no matter what is going on in my life. I finally understood bringing Him glory has to be my ultimate goal.  Jesus is the only one who will never disappoint me.

In 2008, I met Jesus in a way I never have. Without a doubt this year has been the hardest, most challenging, most painful and stretching year in my life. But I could easily say it’s probably been the sweetest, most beautiful time in my life. The Father refined me in a way I will never fully be able to describe or understand. Hallelujah for 2008. Thank you Jesus. 

Bring it on 2009. You’ve got some stiff competition.