Trial vs. Triumph

Bear with me, this is long. I apologize for the jumbled mess of my words as I try to type out what I’m thinking, feeling and experiencing.

I was reading through Matthew and came across this verse(Jesus is speaking to His disciples):

“One day after they had returned to Galilee, Jesus told them, ‘The Son of man is going to be betrayed. He will be killed, but three days later He will be raised from the dead.’ And the disciples hearts were filled with grief.” (Matthew 17:22-23)

My first thought was set on the last bit of what Jesus had said “He will be raised from the dead.” and I found myself confused. How could the disciples be “filled with grief”? Jesus just told them that He would die BUT that He was going to rise from the dead, I mean that sounds like pretty awesome news to me. As I re-read it, the Lord struck me with the perspective and focus of the disciples thoughts. They were not looking at the last part of His message, but the first. They saw the devastation, injustice and hopelessness of Jesus’ betrayal and death. When those first words were spoken, I feel like the disciples became so focused on the trial or tragedy, that they failed to acknowledge the triumph to come in Christ’s resurrection. 

I quickly was convicted about how often my focus is also on the initial situation, words, or hardship. I believe we all tend to do this, we focus on the tragedy over the triumph. We see the Lord lead us into valleys of suffering, and all of the sudden we allow pain, anger, or disappointment to blur our vision of the second part of it all, His promises of hope, redemption, freedom, and joy.

I’m reading a book right now called “Hinds feet on high places” it’s an allegorical story written by Hannah Hurnard. It’s a beautiful story about a young girl, Much Afraid, who is on a journey to develop “hinds feet”  so she can reach “the high places”(habakkuk 3:19). There is a great shepherd(who represents Christ) and He has sent her on this journey, promising that if she would trust Him and listen to His commands she will one day develop hinds feet, and reach the high places. Her guides on this are named sorrow and suffering.  On her journey she has been climbing a steep mountain for days when all of the sudden she comes to the top of a mountain and sees a deep desert valley below. I’m going to quote a bit from the book because I feel like her initial response really mirrors my own(and probably quite a few of our’s) in the face of suffering or trials,

“She stopped dead and said to them, ‘We musn’t go down there. The shepherd has called me to the High Places. We must find some path which goes up, but certainly not down there.’ But they made signs to her that she was to follow them down the steep pathway to the desert below. 

Much Afraid looked to left and right, but though it seemed incredible, there was no way possible by which they could continue to climb upward. The hill they were on ended abruptly at this precipice, and the rocky cliffs towered above them in every direction straight as walls with no possible foothold.

‘I can’t go down there,’ panted Much Afraid, sick with shock and fear. ‘He can never mean that — never! He called me up to the High Places, and this is an absolute contradiction of all that He promised.’ “

Much Afraid’s response is so like my own. The Lord would never call me to go down there! He promises good things for me, this can’t be right! Much Afraid goes on to call the shepherd to her side and share her anguish and disbelief with him, to which he responds that that is the way she is to go, and “it is not contradiction of a promise, only a postponement for the best to become possible.”

The problem is not really the trial at all, it’s where my focus is. My focus tends to be on the trial, not the triumph. I forget that amidst it all(suffering, pain, anger, disappointment, grief), there should be incredible peace and joy. For Christ has already conquered the grave, cast our sins into the depths of the ocean, overcome the world and He continues to work ALL things together for the good of those who love Him. He promises never to let us fall, to be our strength, to uphold us. The list could go on forever!

I pray that the Father would give me heavenly eyes and a heavenly heart to rejoice in suffering, for I already know the outcome. He is victorious. Thank you Jesus.

It all seems so elementary, but I can’t ever seem to be reminded enough.